Feeling Alive and Being Healthy: Creating Family Evening Rituals

Welcome to our Marriage Wars and Peace blog for May

May is about taking care of your physical well-being. This includes eating healthy, exercising regularly, and maintaining good hygiene.

Wait. What?

What does good hygiene have to do with my marriage?

Surprisingly, a lot!

Back in our battle-weary days, my husband and I had terrible bedtime hygiene. We both worked long hours during the day, ate dinner, crawled into bed, and numbed out by snacking and watching TV before falling asleep. We were, shall we say, less than fresh when we crawled into bed.

Hygiene isn’t just about taking a bath and wearing deodorant — those are things you do. Good hygiene is about creating a pleasing environment within your marriage — something you design.

What does that look like?

In this month’s article, we’ll focus on:

• The Nabizadeh (my) family evening ritual.

• How to create an evening ritual for your family.

• Why you need to create a pleasing hygienic environment for your spouse.

Our Family Evening Ritual

After many nights of numbing out with Shahriar in front of the TV, I decided to change. So, I kissed him, crawled out of bed, and showered.

When I crawled back in, I felt fresh and alive — and slept much better!

This evolved into skipping the boob-tubing and taking a bubble bath and listening to my favorite music. Luxuriating into nothingness was scrumptious — a mini-retreat at the end of the day.

Interestingly, without my participation of connecting with my hubby through watching TV at bedtime,  my hubby started doing something for himself that turned into his own evening routine — he walks the our adorable dogs, William and Mary and star gazes before coming to bed.

When he crawls in, he’s refreshed, relaxed, and energized in the morning.

Soon after, I purchased matching pajamas for our family. And while Shahriar has alone time with the dogs and stars, my sweet daughter and I change into our PJs, take baths, and brush each other’s hair.

It’s become our evening ritual. How we individually disconnect from the day and reconnect as a family. And we all look forward to it!

Yep. This is how the Nabizadeh family rolls.

How to Create an Evening Ritual for Your Family

Evening rituals are fun for the whole family to create. They’re a way to wind down and tune in as a family. Here’s how:

Step 1: Create individual evening rituals.

Ask each family member to write down three things they’d like to do to transition from end-of-day to falling asleep.

Actions could include:

• Packing their lunch

• Setting out clothes for the next day

• Straightening their room

• Taking a bath

• Writing in their journal
  

Step 2: Create your family evening ritual.

Have everyone write down one thing they’d like to do together as a family before going to bed.

Activities could include:

• Eating dinner

• Going for an evening swim

• Playing a board game

• Reading a chapter from a book

• Watching a movie

Step 3: Combine the above two steps, then decide on a signal.

To mark the beginning of your family evening ritual, decide on a signal when daytime activities end and evening rituals begin.

Signals could include:

• A specific time.

• Chime or gong

• Dim the lights

• Song or tune

• Turn off all electronics

Some of my clients have an evening ritual for weekdays and another for weekends.

Whatever you do — do it together!

Why You Need to Create a Pleasing Hygienic Environment for Your Spouse

As a relationship expert, I’ve lost track of how often I’ve heard wives complain about their husband’s lack of hygiene.

Husbands — hygiene up. Now that you’re a family man, it’s your responsibility to create a pleasing hygienic environment for those living with you. Brush your teeth often, and shower after working out.   

Wives — less is more when it comes to perfume. Our husbands want to be enticed by our scent, not bombarded with it. And don’t spritz your perfume on him!

Both — when going out, look and smell your best. Since women are sensitive to smells and men are sensitive to looks. Making sure you look and smell good will enhance everyone’s sensitivities and make for a more pleasurable evening.

As parents, we lead by example. Create a pleasing hygienic environment for yourselves and watch the rest of your family follow suit.

Resource

The Book of New Family Traditions

If you’re looking for ideas of things you can do to bring more fun and ritual into your family, then you’ll enjoy The Book of New Family Traditions by Meg Cox.

https://www.amazon.com/amazonbookclubs/dl/invite/5bvyHMf

I hope you are deriving much value from reading my blog posts!