7 Relationship Saboteurs

7 Relationship Saboteurs: Need to be Right 

September 06, 20243 min read

Today’s topic: Saboteur #7 Need to be Right (Part 1) 

Before we delve into today's topic, I'm excited to present an opportunity that promises insight into the underlying reasons behind the conflicts you are experiencing with your husband. 

Exciting Opportunity 

Mark your calendars for October 18-20, 2024, because we're hosting the Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! Bootcamp weekend — an event specifically designed for battle-weary couples.   

This transformative weekend will uncover the 7 relationship saboteurs that are wreaking havoc in marriages and dive deeper into the Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby Technique — a method that not only saved my marriage but can also revolutionize yours.   

To learn more about this life-changing event, watch the video linked here

In Today’s Blog 

When you and your spouse are fighting, and you don’t know the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’ . . .  check to see which of the 7 relationship saboteurs is triggering you.  

In today’s blog, we’ll look at how the need to be right manifests, what it looks like and implies, and how this relationship saboteur justifies its actions. Finally, we’ll look at what’s being triggered within you. 

Next month, we’ll explore solutions and look at how being triggered can be a transformative moment for yourself and within your marriage as a sacred act. 

If this is your first time reading our 7 Relationship Saboteurs mini-series, you’ll want to get up to speed on this transformative information by reading about it here.  

Relationship Saboteur #7 Need to be Right 
 
The need to be right in a relationship refers to the compulsion to win arguments or prove a point, often at the expense of understanding or connection.   

  1. How it manifests 
     

  • Constantly correcting your spouse, even over minor details 

  • Refusing to admit mistakes or wrongdoing 

  • Prioritizing being ‘right’ over resolving conflict 

  • Arguing until your partner concedes or gives up 

  • Dismissing or invalidating your spouse's perspective 
     

  1. What it looks like: 
     

  • Insisting on having the final word in disagreements 

  • Frequently pointing out where your partner is wrong 

  • Using facts or technicalities to win an argument 

  • Showing frustration or anger when challenged 
     

  1. What it implies: 
     

  • You can’t possibly be right 

  • Your viewpoint is inferior 

  • You don’t know enough 
     

  1. How it justifies its actions: 
     

  • “It’s the truth.” 

  • “I know more about this than you do.” 

  • “You’re too emotional to see the facts clearly.” 

  • “I’m just being objective so you can understand the truth.” 

  1. What’s being triggered within you? 

The part triggered is an old emotional injury from the past that’s remained frozen. It’s triggering you now so you can examine the wound and evolve past it into the wise adult you’re meant to be.  

Next month, we’ll explore solutions to this relationship saboteur and look at how triggering can be a transformative moment for yourself and within your marriage as a sacred act. 

All it takes is one person in the relationship to understand what’s going on and turn inward for healing, to transform their relationship from battle-weary to thriving strong.  

In the meantime, if you’re dealing with a spouse acting out relationship saboteur #5 (retaliation) and you’d like some support, wives, I'm here for you. Or, if you’d like help as a couple, click here

In the name of Love, Veronica

Our Marriage War and Peace blog is your go-to resource for keeping you and your marriage strong and healthy by providing information and resources as you navigate the ups and downs of your marriage. And inspiration and hope if you’re battle-weary and ready to throw in the towel. 

As an attorney, family law mediator, and relationship restart specialist, I bring a unique perspective to the conversation on marriage because I’ve “been there, done that” and understand the challenges faced by those struggling in their marriages.

Veronica L. Nabizadeh, Esq., NBC-HWC

Our Marriage War and Peace blog is your go-to resource for keeping you and your marriage strong and healthy by providing information and resources as you navigate the ups and downs of your marriage. And inspiration and hope if you’re battle-weary and ready to throw in the towel. As an attorney, family law mediator, and relationship restart specialist, I bring a unique perspective to the conversation on marriage because I’ve “been there, done that” and understand the challenges faced by those struggling in their marriages.

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