Today’s topic: Saboteur #1 — Unbridled Self-Expression (Part 2)

Welcome to Part 2 of Relationship Saboteur #1!

In today’s blog, we’ll explore solutions and discuss the importance of having a marriage credo. We’ll also look at how being triggered can be a transformative moment for yourself and within your marriage as a sacred act.

If you’ve not already read Part 1, I recommend doing so since this blog continues from last month.

And, if this is your first time reading our 7 Relationship Saboteurs mini-series, and you’re wondering what this mini-series is all about, you can get up to speed by reading about it here.

Why Fighting Hurts So Much

Fighting with your spouse is more painful than the fighting you do with anyone else.

Why?

Because we know deeply personal and sensitive things about our spouse, and when we’re communicating through one of our relationship saboteurs, we can use this intimate knowledge against them.

So, what can you do about it?

Solution

1. Disengage when triggered.

When you feel your heart rate rising and face reddening, stop, drop, and roll, baby! — it works!

2. Identify your relationship saboteur.

If you haven't yet read about my amazing 'Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! technique, please click here.

Know Them Well!

3. Own your emotions.

Marriage is a sacred agreement between you and your partner. You’ve come together to love and grow. And part of that growth involves being triggered so you can identify past wounding, heal the hurt, and evolve beyond.

If something is bothering you, it’s about you. Own it.

4. Learn to listen to your partner.

When your spouse speaks, look him in the eyes, connect to his heart, and get curious about where he’s coming from.

Powerful!

5. Get the help you need to turn this around.

If you’re dealing with a spouse acting out unbridled self-expression and want some support, I'm here for you.

Create Your Marriage Credo

A credo is a statement of the beliefs or aims which guide your actions.

Set aside time to discuss your marriage credo with your spouse — lines you won’t cross in arguments. If your husband isn’t willing, create one for yourself.

Here are a few to get you started:

• No toxic venting about your partner.

• No using confidential, sensitive information against them.

All it takes is one person in the relationship to understand what’s going on and turn inward for healing, transforming their relationship from battle-weary to thriving strong.

If you are flying solo, I am with you! If you’re dealing with a spouse acting out relationship saboteur #1 (Unbridled Self Expression) and you’d like some support, wives, I'm here for you. Or, if you’d like help as a couple, click here.