Marriage
War
&
Peace
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Before we delve into today's topic, I'm excited to present an opportunity that promises insight into the underlying reasons behind the conflicts you are experiencing with your husband.
On September 13th-15th, I’m hosting the Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! Turnaround weekend — an exclusive event for battle-weary wives that you won’t want to miss!
During this empowering weekend, I'll dive deeper into the 7 relationship saboteurs wreaking havoc in your marriage and introduce you to the revolutionary Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! ™ Technique — a method developed from my own battle-weary experiences.
This powerful approach is designed to uncover the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’ of your conflicts and help end the fights between you and your husband. To learn more about this exciting opportunity, watch the video linked here.
When you and your spouse are fighting, and you don’t know the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’ . . . check to see which of the 7 relationship saboteurs is triggering you.
In today’s blog, we’ll look at how Withdrawing manifests, what it looks like and implies, and how this relationship saboteur justifies its actions. Finally, we’ll look at what’s being triggered within you.
Next month, we’ll explore solutions and look at how being triggered can be a transformative moment for yourself and within your marriage as a sacred act.
If this is your first time reading our 7 Relationship Saboteurs mini-series, you’ll want to get up to speed on this transformative information by reading about it here.
Withdrawal in a marriage refers to one partner emotionally or physically distancing themselves from the other, avoiding communication and engagement, which creates a barrier to intimacy and connection.
· Emotional unavailability
· Detachment
· Avoidance of physical affection and intimacy
· Spending excessive time alone or away from home
· Ignoring or dismissing attempts to engage with you in conversations
· Silent treatment
· Monosyllabic responses
· Lack of interest in shared activities
· Frequently using distractions like work, hobbies, or electronic devices
· Holding back important information or feelings
· You’re not worthy of consideration.
· You’re being punished.
· You’re overreacting.
· I don’t have time for this
· I can’t handle your emotions let alone mine
· Even if I try, it won’t be good enough
· "You're always nagging and picking fights."
· "I just need some space."
· "You make everything into a big deal."
· "You never let things go."
· “I don’t see the point in talking about it.”
· "I've got a lot on my mind; I don't have time for this."
If you're on the receiving end of these exchanges, it's only natural to want to retaliate by launching your salvo of relationship saboteurs at your spouse. However, before you do that, understand that the part of you being triggered is an old emotional injury from the past. It's triggering you now so you can examine the wound and evolve past it into the wise adult you're meant to be.
Next month, we’ll explore solutions to this relationship saboteur and look at how triggering can be a transformative moment for yourself and within your marriage as a sacred act.
All it takes is one person in the relationship to understand what’s going on and turn inward for healing, to transform their relationship from battle-weary to thriving strong.
In the meantime, if you’re dealing with a spouse acting out this relationship saboteur and you’d like some support, wives, I'm here for you. Or, if you’d like help as a couple, click here.
"Before working with Veronica my husband and I had spoken to other relationship therapists and did “talk” therapy. At the conclusion of each session we walked away with little insight and rarely forward momentum. After working with Veronica, I see that we are going deeper and hitting the crux of our challenges. Our sessions are practical and we have had positive impact and we’ve made true progress. Veronica helped us identify the unsustainable patterns that we unknowingly got ourselves stuck in and had been causing us very uneven happiness and closeness. After nearly 20 years of marriage, we have hope and look forward to our next 20 years."
-M & S, New York
"On the brink of divorce, we had tried therapy and it didn’t work. Our marriage was a roller coaster and I felt emotionally drained every day. When I got pregnant I had to do something because I didn’t want to bring my baby into our hot mess. Veronica diagnosed was was going on in our first session! My husband and I have helped each other heal so much in our sessions with Veronica. We are a team now and it feels so good to have our son being born into a peaceful home."
-K & M, Washington
"As a result of working with Veronica, I live in peace without anxiety or panic. I love where I live, and I work out and have taken pride in the healthy meals I prepare for myself. Veronica is the only person who has helped me achieve any lasting results. It’s been nearly 2 years since our first session and I am feeling so stable and at-peace. I cannot recommend her enough, as she changed my life."
-JR, Virginia
"My marriage was in shambles and I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I was desperate for a solution that didn't involve medication. My husband refused to go to therapy with me, which left me feeling hopeless. We were constantly fighting and didn't know how to break the cycle. Since Veronica came into my life, my family is in a much better place. I no longer take my husband's behavior personally, and we're able to enjoy each other's company. I hear my kids giggle every day, and it fills me with joy. I'm forever grateful for Veronica's guidance and support."
-SF, Louisiana
"Veronica's approach was unique: she aimed to assist 'conscious couples' like us who wanted a harmonious, child-focused resolution. We found her process educational and empowering; she shattered our notion that divorce has to be a battlefield. Her skillful facilitation accommodated our hectic lives, making continuous progress seem effortless."
-M & D, Florida
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