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7 Relationship Saboteurs

7 Relationship Saboteurs Withdrawal Part 1

July 06, 20243 min read

Today’s topic: Saboteur #6 Withdrawing (Part 1)

Before we delve into today's topic, I'm excited to present an opportunity that promises insight into the underlying reasons behind the conflicts you are experiencing with your husband.

Exciting Opportunity

On September 13th-15th, I’m hosting the Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! Turnaround weekend — an exclusive event for battle-weary wives that you won’t want to miss!

During this empowering weekend, I'll dive deeper into the 7 relationship saboteurs wreaking havoc in your marriage and introduce you to the revolutionary Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! ™ Technique — a method developed from my own battle-weary experiences.

This powerful approach is designed to uncover the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’ of your conflicts and help end the fights between you and your husband. To learn more about this exciting opportunity, watch the video linked here.

In Today’s Blog

When you and your spouse are fighting, and you don’t know the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’ . . . check to see which of the 7 relationship saboteurs is triggering you.

In today’s blog, we’ll look at how Withdrawing manifests, what it looks like and implies, and how this relationship saboteur justifies its actions. Finally, we’ll look at what’s being triggered within you.

Next month, we’ll explore solutions and look at how being triggered can be a transformative moment for yourself and within your marriage as a sacred act.

If this is your first time reading our 7 Relationship Saboteurs mini-series, you’ll want to get up to speed on this transformative information by reading about it here.

Relationship Saboteur #6 Withdrawing

Withdrawal in a marriage refers to one partner emotionally or physically distancing themselves from the other, avoiding communication and engagement, which creates a barrier to intimacy and connection.

1. How it manifests

· Emotional unavailability

· Detachment

· Avoidance of physical affection and intimacy

· Spending excessive time alone or away from home

· Ignoring or dismissing attempts to engage with you in conversations

2. What it looks like

· Silent treatment

· Monosyllabic responses

· Lack of interest in shared activities

· Frequently using distractions like work, hobbies, or electronic devices

· Holding back important information or feelings

3. What it implies

· You’re not worthy of consideration.

· You’re being punished.

· You’re overreacting.

· I don’t have time for this

· I can’t handle your emotions let alone mine

· Even if I try, it won’t be good enough

4. How it justifies its actions

· "You're always nagging and picking fights."

· "I just need some space."

· "You make everything into a big deal."

· "You never let things go."

· “I don’t see the point in talking about it.”

· "I've got a lot on my mind; I don't have time for this."

5. What’s being triggered within you?

If you're on the receiving end of these exchanges, it's only natural to want to retaliate by launching your salvo of relationship saboteurs at your spouse. However, before you do that, understand that the part of you being triggered is an old emotional injury from the past. It's triggering you now so you can examine the wound and evolve past it into the wise adult you're meant to be.

Next month, we’ll explore solutions to this relationship saboteur and look at how triggering can be a transformative moment for yourself and within your marriage as a sacred act.

All it takes is one person in the relationship to understand what’s going on and turn inward for healing, to transform their relationship from battle-weary to thriving strong.

In the meantime, if you’re dealing with a spouse acting out this relationship saboteur and you’d like some support, wives, I'm here for you. Or, if you’d like help as a couple, click here.

In the name of Love, Veronica

marriage wars and peace blogconflict resolution7 relationship saboteursmarriage as a spiritual practicemarriage as a sacred practice stop, drop, and roll, baby!withdrawal
Our Marriage War and Peace blog is your go-to resource for keeping you and your marriage strong and healthy by providing information and resources as you navigate the ups and downs of your marriage. And inspiration and hope if you’re battle-weary and ready to throw in the towel. 

As an attorney, family law mediator, and relationship restart specialist, I bring a unique perspective to the conversation on marriage because I’ve “been there, done that” and understand the challenges faced by those struggling in their marriages.

Veronica L. Nabizadeh, Esq., NBC-HWC

Our Marriage War and Peace blog is your go-to resource for keeping you and your marriage strong and healthy by providing information and resources as you navigate the ups and downs of your marriage. And inspiration and hope if you’re battle-weary and ready to throw in the towel. As an attorney, family law mediator, and relationship restart specialist, I bring a unique perspective to the conversation on marriage because I’ve “been there, done that” and understand the challenges faced by those struggling in their marriages.

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What Wives and Couples Are Saying

DEEPER HEALING, REAL PROGRESS

"Before working with Veronica my husband and I had spoken to other relationship therapists and did “talk” therapy. At the conclusion of each session we walked away with little insight and rarely forward momentum. After working with Veronica, I see that we are going deeper and hitting the crux of our challenges. Our sessions are practical and we have had positive impact and we’ve made true progress. Veronica helped us identify the unsustainable patterns that we unknowingly got ourselves stuck in and had been causing us very uneven happiness and closeness. After nearly 20 years of marriage, we have hope and look forward to our next 20 years."

M & S, NYC, New York

SAVED OUR MARRIAGE, HEALED OUR HEARTS

"On the brink of divorce, we had tried therapy and it didn’t work. Our marriage was a roller coaster and I felt emotionally drained every day. When I got pregnant I had to do something because I didn’t want to bring my baby into our hot mess. Veronica diagnosed was was going on in our first session! My husband and I have helped each other heal so much in our sessions with Veronica. We are a team now and it feels so good to have our son being born into a peaceful home."

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FROM ROCK BOTTOM TO FAMILY HAPPINESS

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SF, Louisiana

Curiosity replaced contention

I can't thank you enough for your insightful guidance! I'm finally starting to grasp what you mean by marriage as a spiritual practice. Now, when I'm triggered, I pause and ask myself, where is this coming from? This simple act of curiosity has helped me explore any unmet needs, whether related to my relationship with myself or past experiences. It’s incredible how this shift transforms the trigger into a more compassionate response — almost like magic! Although I still desire a compassionate, understanding, and loving partner, I've found that grounding myself in self-awareness and curiosity lessens the intensity of those triggers. Working with you has allowed me to piece together years of personal growth, and your support has helped me apply everything I’ve learned. I’m truly grateful for everything you’ve helped me discover!"

NG, Great Falls, Virginia

Bridging Hearts Through Authentic Communication

"Thank you Veronica for taking a walk with my husband and I through some very difficult times. We are a couple only married 5 years. Our love for one another runs deep but found our communication somewhat lacking in several areas and found ourselves struggling to understand each other’s viewpoint. Our marriage was getting close to dissolving even though our hearts yearned for love throughout our golden years and truly unto death do us part.

Veronica’s spiritual aspect, her true love for people, the sanctity of marriage, her knowledge base and genuine heart has made such a difference in our marriage as we began to look into one another’s history and apply tools given to us by Veronica , we began to see a difference in leaps and bounds in the right direction.Thank you Veronica! You are amazing in so many ways!!!"

J & J Soddy Daisy, TN

PERSONAL GROWTH, EMOTIONAL STABILITY

"Veronica is a master at pinning untruths and exposing the ego in the most effective way for healing relationship trauma and excelling in life in general. In just two sessions my work with her has helped me identify deeply embedded story lines I’d been living out and a pathway to getting them cleared that has exponentialized my growth and emotional stability.”

FL, New Mexico

BROADENED PERSPECTIVE, SOFTENED EXPECTATIONS

"Before working with Veronica, my wife and I had a deep love for each other, but we were having trouble communicating about certain fairly private and sensitive realities of married life. We were frustrated and unsure how to work through these issues. We have some new communication tools from working with Veronica that helped broaden our perspective, softened our expectations, and strengthened our understanding of one another significantly. Our marriage feels more aligned, and we are moving forward with greater confidence and love."

K & J, CAMPBELL, CALIFORNIA

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