Today’s topic: Saboteur #6 Withdrawing (Part 2)

Welcome to Part 2 of Relationship Saboteur #6 Withdrawing!

Before we delve into today's topic, I'm excited to present an opportunity that promises insight into the underlying reasons behind the conflicts you are experiencing with your husband

Exciting Opportunity

On September 13-15th, I’m hosting the Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! Turnaround weekend — an exclusive event designed exclusively for battle-weary wives that you’ll want to attend!

During this empowering event, I'll unveil the 7 relationship saboteurs wreaking havoc in your marriage and dive deeper into my signature Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! ™ Technique— a method born out of my battle-weary experience.

This powerful approach is designed to uncover the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’ of your fighting and end conflicts between you and your husband. To learn more about his exciting opportunity, watch the video linked here.

In Today’s Blog

Today, we’ll explore solutions for dealing with the hurtfulness of relationship saboteur #6: withdrawing. We’ll also look at how triggering can be a transformative moment for yourself and within your marriage as a sacred practice.

If you haven't already read Part 1, I recommend doing so before continuing (it will only take a few minutes) since this blog is a continuation of last month's article.

And, if this is your first time reading our 7 Relationship Saboteurs mini-series, and you’re wondering what this mini-series is all about, you can get up to speed by reading about it here.

Why Withdrawing Hurts So Much

Withdrawing hurts so much because it creates emotional distance, erodes trust, and can cause you to feel neglected and unimportant. This lack of connection, over time, will lead to feelings of isolation and insecurity within the marriage.

Solutions

When your husband withdraws, it can be deeply hurtful and challenging to navigate, often leaving you feeling isolated and unsure of how to reconnect. Here are some strategies to help you cope with the emotional pain.

· Prioritize self-care Take care of yourself by engaging in activities that nurture your well-being. Going for walks, focusing on your hobbies, or connecting with supportive friends and family will help you recharge and maintain a positive outlook.

· Practice mindfulness Practices such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, or Qigong will help you stay grounded and manage stress.

· Communicate your feelings When the time is right, and calmer minds prevail, communicate how your husband's withdrawal causes you to feel without blaming or criticizing. Use "I" statements like "I feel hurt when you distance yourself." Then, invite your husband to share his feelings and listen without interrupting or judging.

· Respect his space and your processing While it’s important to communicate your feelings, respect your husband’s need for personal space and time to process them. But don’t sit around waiting for him to process. Respect your need to process what happened and take the time and space you need to do so.

· Encircle yourself within a love bubble As a battle-weary wife, establishing boundaries after your husband withdraws is crucial to protect your emotional well-being and maintain a sense of self. By encircling yourself within a bubble of love, you can prevent further emotional harm and ensure that you don't

lose your sanity during your husband's withdrawal.

· Seek support If withdrawing is a persistent issue, don’t hesitate to seek support from a relationship coach or therapist. A professional support system can provide perspective and help you navigate the complexities of this hurtful relationship saboteur.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and taking care of your emotional health and well-being is an act of self-respect and self-kindness.

Marriage as a Sacred Practice

What happens when you're triggered?

You can either adopt a defensive stance, erect barriers around yourself, or internalize the situation, attributing blame solely to yourself and succumbing to self-criticism.

However, there's a third, more healthy approach.

If you see your marriage as a sacred practice, then you understand that whatever has been triggered is nothing more than an old emotional injury from the past. If you can say "thank you" for the triggering event and use it as an opportunity to heal your past injury, then you can evolve past it and emerge as the wise and loving adult you're meant to be.

All it takes is one person in the relationship to understand what’s going on and turn inward for healing, transforming their relationship from battle-weary to thriving strong.

In the meantime, if you’re dealing with a spouse acting out relationship saboteur #5 (retaliation) and you’d like some support, wives, I'm here for you. Or, if you’d like help as a couple, click here.