Welcome to our Marriage War and Peace blog for July

July’s blog will talk about what it means to live your life with purpose and passion and how to co-create a marriage with your spouse that supports each other's dreams and aspirations.

I’m writing this blog from Spain, where I’m with financial prosperity coach Penelope Jane Smith and eight other women entrepreneurs learning how to grow and manage our money. Back home, Shahriar is getting much-anticipated one-on-one time with our daughter, Kara.

The Picture above is of me and Penelope in Barcelona!

Both things — me pursuing my purpose and passion and Shahriar getting Daddy time with Kara — are activities we’ve deliberately co-created in our marriage.

Family is important to us; since Kara is 13, we know this time with her is precious. Also important is being fulfilled and happy in our careers. It’s an and, not an either-or. And both are possible with intentional co-creation.

In this month’s article, we’ll focus on:

• What happens when you let go and trust God.

• A delicious co-creation technique for couples.

• Penelope Jane Smith’s Financial Freedom 101 event.

  Penelope Jane Smith's Financial Freedom 101

Be Still and Know

Shahriar and I frequently talk about co-creating our life together.

However, it wasn’t always that way. In the early years, we struggled with communication, engaging in exhausting battles over the simplest differences. Battle-wearing, we grew distant in our marriage.

I wanted us to be in lockstep about everything! I know, totally unrealistic. Consequently, the needier I was, the more absent Shahriar became.

Finally, I gave up trying to ‘make him’ draw close and let go.

“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) was a verse I’d read, though never understood, until I let go and trusted God.

Psalm 46 was written during the Assyrian siege of Jerusalem (circa 701 BCE) when King Sennacherib marched on the city. In response, King Hezekiah prayed to God for help. God reassured Hezekiah that he had no reason to fear, and an angel defeated the Assyrian army that night.

If “be still and know that I am God” worked for King Hezekiah, surely it would work for me!

So, I stopped fighting. To Shahriar’s relief, I started stressing less and trusting more. And Shahriar became more present.

3 Steps to Delicious Co-Creation

During conflict and marital turmoil, there are times when you need to stop what you’re doing, let go, and trust God or other higher beings to have your back.

Once you do, delicious co-creation can begin with these three steps:

1. Think about what you’re passionate about achieving. 

Before you can co-create a marriage with your spouse that supports each other's dreams and aspirations, you’ll need to think about what you’re passionate about and want to achieve for yourself and write them down. (Not what you want your spouse to make happen for you.) 

2. Next, set aside time to share the dreams and aspirations you’ve each written. 

Here are the ‘rules’:

• One person starts and finishes their list before the other starts. 
  

• The listener is there to absorb what is said. Refrain from pushing back or questioning viability. 
  

• The listener may ask clarifying questions. 
  

• When done, the listener restates what they heard their partner say and then asks: “Is there anything I missed?”
  

• The sharer then affirms or clarifies.

Then flip roles. 

3. Now comes the delicious co-creative part.

Each of you picks from your list one thing you’d like to ask for co-creative help from the other. Then re-state what it is and ask your spouse these two questions: 

How do you see yourself co-creating this dream and aspiration with me? 

What are some of the things we can do together to make this happen?

These questions will open up many exciting discussions and pathways that only exist when “two heads are better than one.”

From here, you can begin planning or do something fun together, discussing options and keeping the co-creative juice flowing. 

Resources

Our Bucket List Journal

If you’re looking for a unique way to brainstorm and plan a bucket list, Our Bucket List Journal: 50 Dreams to Reach Together will give you a fun way to co-create together.

If you want to see the other books I recommend in my complimentary Amazon Book Club, please click here.

Financial Freedom 101 Event

If you’re curious about what I was doing in Spain, financial prosperity coach Penelope Jane Smith has a 3-day online event on July 7 – 9. Financial Freedom 101.

Click here for a guest pass to the Financial Freedom 101 Event!

Have fun dreaming and co-creating!