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Welcome back to the Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! Blog, your trusted source for navigating the challenges of life and relationships with grace, resilience, and a healthy dose of self-compassion.
Today, we're tackling a topic that affects so many of us: Perfectionism.
It's time to explore how to Stop, Drop, and Roll with Your Perfectionism, liberating yourself from its grip and embracing your imperfections to live a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Before we dive into today's topic, I have some exciting news to share!
Mark your calendars for October 18-20, 2024 because we're hosting the Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! Bootcamp weekend — an event specifically designed for battle-weary couples.
This transformative weekend will uncover the 7 relationship saboteurs that are wreaking havoc in marriages and dive deeper into the Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby Technique — a method that not only saved my marriage but can also revolutionize yours.
To learn more about this life-changing event, watch the video linked here.
And just in case you’re new to our Stop, Drop, and Roll, Baby! mini-series read about how it all began here!
Stop chasing perfection.
Perfectionism can be a relentless driver, pushing you to strive for impossible standards and leading to harsh self-criticism when you inevitably fall short.
The first step in overcoming perfectionism is to recognize when it’s taking over and stop feeding into these unrealistic expectations. Instead, focus on progress rather than perfection. Acknowledge that doing your best is enough and allow yourself the grace to be imperfect.
Drop the fear of failure.
Perfectionism often stems from a deep-seated fear of failure — the belief that making mistakes is unacceptable.
It’s time to drop this fear and embrace failure as a natural part of growth and learning. Understand that every misstep is an opportunity to learn, adapt, and improve.
By releasing the fear of failure, you open yourself up to new experiences and the freedom to take risks without the crippling pressure of needing to be perfect.
Roll into self-acceptance and flexibility.
Now that you’ve stopped chasing perfection and dropped the fear of failure, it’s time to roll into self-acceptance and flexibility.
When things don’t go as planned, be kind to yourself. Adapt to changing circumstances with an open mind and remember that flexibility is a key component of resilience. By embracing your imperfections and being gentle with yourself, you create space for growth, creativity, and joy.
Go for a walk, set aside time each day to remind yourself that it’s okay to be imperfect. Use positive affirmations to reinforce self-compassion. Phrases like “I am enough” or “I accept myself as I am” can help shift your mindset away from perfectionism.
All it takes is one person in the relationship to stop, drop, and roll to smother the flames. Then, when it’s time, you’ll return to the conversation feeling inner-centered, emotionally balanced, and ready to invite conversation.
In the meantime, if the flames are getting hot and you'd like help putting them out, wives, I’m here for you. Or, if you’d like help as a couple, click here.
"Before working with Veronica my husband and I had spoken to other relationship therapists and did “talk” therapy. At the conclusion of each session we walked away with little insight and rarely forward momentum. After working with Veronica, I see that we are going deeper and hitting the crux of our challenges. Our sessions are practical and we have had positive impact and we’ve made true progress. Veronica helped us identify the unsustainable patterns that we unknowingly got ourselves stuck in and had been causing us very uneven happiness and closeness. After nearly 20 years of marriage, we have hope and look forward to our next 20 years."
-M & S, New York
"On the brink of divorce, we had tried therapy and it didn’t work. Our marriage was a roller coaster and I felt emotionally drained every day. When I got pregnant I had to do something because I didn’t want to bring my baby into our hot mess. Veronica diagnosed was was going on in our first session! My husband and I have helped each other heal so much in our sessions with Veronica. We are a team now and it feels so good to have our son being born into a peaceful home."
-K & M, Washington
"As a result of working with Veronica, I live in peace without anxiety or panic. I love where I live, and I work out and have taken pride in the healthy meals I prepare for myself. Veronica is the only person who has helped me achieve any lasting results. It’s been nearly 2 years since our first session and I am feeling so stable and at-peace. I cannot recommend her enough, as she changed my life."
-JR, Virginia
"My marriage was in shambles and I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I was desperate for a solution that didn't involve medication. My husband refused to go to therapy with me, which left me feeling hopeless. We were constantly fighting and didn't know how to break the cycle. Since Veronica came into my life, my family is in a much better place. I no longer take my husband's behavior personally, and we're able to enjoy each other's company. I hear my kids giggle every day, and it fills me with joy. I'm forever grateful for Veronica's guidance and support."
-SF, Louisiana
"Veronica's approach was unique: she aimed to assist 'conscious couples' like us who wanted a harmonious, child-focused resolution. We found her process educational and empowering; she shattered our notion that divorce has to be a battlefield. Her skillful facilitation accommodated our hectic lives, making continuous progress seem effortless."
-M & D, Florida
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